One of my clients whoโs a director at an international consulting firm lamented about a recent performance conversation he had with one of his underperforming employees. Though initially meant to be motivational, he ended up getting frustrated with the employee in the end. โMy emotions stepped in.โ ย
Here's what happened. When he called the employee to his office corner, he was ready to demonstrate his top-of-the-market analytical skills and started breaking down what went wrong. As he dove into each mistake, the issues with the employee seemed endless. The mechanical nods and lackluster stares aggravated him further. ย He thought, โI donโt see any eagerness that I had when I was at that stage of my career. Where is the spark? Whereโs the dedication? What am I gonna do with this person? Heโs useless.โ He ended up saying to the young employee, โWhy canโt you do better? Is this all there is?โ without realizing the underlying tone of criticism and distrust these rhetorical questions convey. By the end, he wondered if he was walking away with anything at all. He thought that the guy was not cut out for the work and blamed Gen Zโs lack of drive and due diligence.
However, in moments of introspection during our coaching session, he revealed that he had never been adequately mentored or coached by his own managers. They all sort of expected him to figure things out on his own, and he sucked it up and did it. The turbulences and challenges along the way were the price he had to pay to earn his current status and expertise, but he didn't dare complain or moan. He just had to deliver.
However, this recent interaction left him feeling like more couldโve been done. He was nervous because two of the most prized consultants had recently left his team without a clear reason. He cautiously admitted that this status quo might cause more turnovers in the future. He confided in me that he didnโt want to be a nagging manager but didnโt know how not to be one.
Performance conversations are not the same as everyday work discussions.
Iโm sure you all relate to his story to a certain degree. ย This is a common challenge for many managers, especially those who havenโt received proper training or mentoring in people management. While we applaud his courage to trace the issue back to himself, the key point to remember here is that performance discussions must be treated differently from typical work discussions. The aim of performance conversations is to review performance AND motivate toward improvement. Yet, many managers lose sight of the second half of the purpose, focusing excessively on poor performance and driving little change as a result of the conversation.
To avoid this, itโs crucial to have a structure for this special type of conversation. Avoid raising any performance issue impromptu, like in passing conversations or over social occasions. Instead, schedule a dedicated meeting for it in advance, ideally lasting 30 minutes to an hour, ensuring it doesnโt exceed the allotted time. Choose a private, comfortable setting where the conversation can proceed without distractions. And follow these five steps for effective performance discussions.ย
5 Steps of Constructive Feedback Sharing
1. EsTABLISH Rapportย
Begin by checking in on the employeeโs well-being and current state. If they seem tense, reassure them that this is a brainstorming session with no right or wrong answers. A simple โHow are you feeling today?โ often does the trick, and don't skip this step. You need to smooth into the conversation.
2. ALIGN the objective
You're there to review the performance and align the next steps towards improvement. ย No matter how obvious it may be to you, make sure you state it clearly at the beginning of the conversation and make sure you both are on the same page.
1 & 2 should take less than 5-10 minutes. The next steps are the juicy part. ๐
3. Acknowledge the strengths
Start by encouraging them to reflect on their contributions and have them recognize and praise their own efforts and achievements, no matter how big or small. If they struggle with self-acknowledgement, highlight your own observations of their strengths. Be supportive and encouraging. This is the time to let them know clearly that you see them, youโre with them and youโre there to support. ย
Questions to ask:
- โLooking back on the project, letโs focus on acknowledging your efforts. What do you think you did well?โ
- โWhat skills or strengths did you demonstrate?โ
- โRegardless of the results, how have you contributed to the team effort?โย
- โWhat challenges did you overcome?โ
If they struggle to acknowledge themselves and instead divert the acknowledgement to elsewhere, gently empathize with them and encourage them to channel their focus on themselves. The truth is most of us are taught humility is a virtue, and therefore, complimenting ourselves doesnโt feel comfortable. That doesnโt mean we donโt deserve it.ย
4. Troubleshoot the opportunities
Instead of addressing all issues at hands, focus on one key area for improvement that will deliver the most significant impact. ย Use neutral language to frame the context and maintain a fair perspective. Ask questions so that the employee can identify areas for improvement themselves. This is super important. Your job as a people manager is not to evaluate them, but to build them up. If needed, offer your perspective with their permission.
Questions to ask
- โIf thereโs a room for improvement, what would it be?โ
- โIf you are given another chance, how would you do it differently?โ
- โIf you could tap into your full potential, what can you do better?โ
5. Apply to action
Concentrate on one actionable item from your discussion and align on the following to drive action and accountability:
Questions to ask
- What will you do?ย
- When and how will you do it?ย
- What or who do you need to ensure the execution?
Tips:ย
Give a little heads-up to think about #2 and #3 a few days before the conversation. You will be able to spend the meeting time a lot more efficiently if both sides come ready.
Practice listening and asking questions by acknowledging the employeeโs opinions with patience and respect. Listening and asking questions are two fundamental skills fostering a supportive environment for ongoing development. These skills require persistent effort, so keep practicing and observe your own experiences as you develop them.
This structure will help you keep the conversation focused and your emotions at bay so that you and your team can walk away with the necessary motivation and readiness to tackle the challenge and make progress toward improvement.
One of my clients whoโs a director at an international consulting firm lamented about a recent performance conversation he had with one of his underperforming employees. Though initially meant to be motivational, he ended up getting frustrated with the employee in the end. โMy emotions stepped in.โ ย
Here's what happened. When he called the employee to his office corner, he was ready to demonstrate his top-of-the-market analytical skills and started breaking down what went wrong. As he dove into each mistake, the issues with the employee seemed endless. The mechanical nods and lackluster stares aggravated him further. ย He thought, โI donโt see any eagerness that I had when I was at that stage of my career. Where is the spark? Whereโs the dedication? What am I gonna do with this person? Heโs useless.โ He ended up saying to the young employee, โWhy canโt you do better? Is this all there is?โ without realizing the underlying tone of criticism and distrust these rhetorical questions convey. By the end, he wondered if he was walking away with anything at all. He thought that the guy was not cut out for the work and blamed Gen Zโs lack of drive and due diligence.
However, in moments of introspection during our coaching session, he revealed that he had never been adequately mentored or coached by his own managers. They all sort of expected him to figure things out on his own, and he sucked it up and did it. The turbulences and challenges along the way were the price he had to pay to earn his current status and expertise, but he didn't dare complain or moan. He just had to deliver.
However, this recent interaction left him feeling like more couldโve been done. He was nervous because two of the most prized consultants had recently left his team without a clear reason. He cautiously admitted that this status quo might cause more turnovers in the future. He confided in me that he didnโt want to be a nagging manager but didnโt know how not to be one.
Performance conversations are not the same as everyday work discussions.
Iโm sure you all relate to his story to a certain degree. ย This is a common challenge for many managers, especially those who havenโt received proper training or mentoring in people management. While we applaud his courage to trace the issue back to himself, the key point to remember here is that performance discussions must be treated differently from typical work discussions. The aim of performance conversations is to review performance AND motivate toward improvement. Yet, many managers lose sight of the second half of the purpose, focusing excessively on poor performance and driving little change as a result of the conversation.
To avoid this, itโs crucial to have a structure for this special type of conversation. Avoid raising any performance issue impromptu, like in passing conversations or over social occasions. Instead, schedule a dedicated meeting for it in advance, ideally lasting 30 minutes to an hour, ensuring it doesnโt exceed the allotted time. Choose a private, comfortable setting where the conversation can proceed without distractions. And follow these five steps for effective performance discussions.ย
5 Steps of Constructive Feedback Sharing
1. EsTABLISH Rapportย
Begin by checking in on the employeeโs well-being and current state. If they seem tense, reassure them that this is a brainstorming session with no right or wrong answers. A simple โHow are you feeling today?โ often does the trick, and don't skip this step. You need to smooth into the conversation.
2. ALIGN the objective
You're there to review the performance and align the next steps towards improvement. ย No matter how obvious it may be to you, make sure you state it clearly at the beginning of the conversation and make sure you both are on the same page.
1 & 2 should take less than 5-10 minutes. The next steps are the juicy part. ๐
3. Acknowledge the strengths
Start by encouraging them to reflect on their contributions and have them recognize and praise their own efforts and achievements, no matter how big or small. If they struggle with self-acknowledgement, highlight your own observations of their strengths. Be supportive and encouraging. This is the time to let them know clearly that you see them, youโre with them and youโre there to support. ย
Questions to ask:
If they struggle to acknowledge themselves and instead divert the acknowledgement to elsewhere, gently empathize with them and encourage them to channel their focus on themselves. The truth is most of us are taught humility is a virtue, and therefore, complimenting ourselves doesnโt feel comfortable. That doesnโt mean we donโt deserve it.ย
4. Troubleshoot the opportunities
Instead of addressing all issues at hands, focus on one key area for improvement that will deliver the most significant impact. ย Use neutral language to frame the context and maintain a fair perspective. Ask questions so that the employee can identify areas for improvement themselves. This is super important. Your job as a people manager is not to evaluate them, but to build them up. If needed, offer your perspective with their permission.
Questions to ask
5. Apply to action
Concentrate on one actionable item from your discussion and align on the following to drive action and accountability:
Questions to ask
Tips:ย
Give a little heads-up to think about #2 and #3 a few days before the conversation. You will be able to spend the meeting time a lot more efficiently if both sides come ready.
Practice listening and asking questions by acknowledging the employeeโs opinions with patience and respect. Listening and asking questions are two fundamental skills fostering a supportive environment for ongoing development. These skills require persistent effort, so keep practicing and observe your own experiences as you develop them.
This structure will help you keep the conversation focused and your emotions at bay so that you and your team can walk away with the necessary motivation and readiness to tackle the challenge and make progress toward improvement.